addicted to
i'm not here to win
i'm here to leave a legacy
This feeling's taking control of me
it's the passion that drives you
endorphins
pain
exhaustion
chasing this insane dream
perfection
tagboard ;
guestbook
Minutes turn to hours, turn to days to weeks, to months, to years... What am I doing?
I hate thinking. I have spent hours pouring over this particular activity. I wonder if it's worth it. At the beginning I was so full of conviction, so sure that it was the right thing to do. Now as I finish it off, I start to wonder if what i'm doing is all wrong. Should I be prioritising differently? If I don't get the desired outcome then isn't it time wasted?
Need to find myself.
Okay been bingeing on crappy food. I am swearing off all of it. Stupid food. When I start eating all this garbage, my mouth feels like a rubbish dump, my stomach feels like a dirt bag and my body feels like soft, squishy, disgusting, FAT. Oh gross. Training had better be good this week. By good I mean calorie-burning... Agh Thurs is the meeting so I guess no/ less training :( PAH. IRRITATING.
Whatever. Look on the bright side of life. More glycogen yada yada yada... gr. My mind had better be strong enough to stay away from shit from now on.
On to happier things! Partayyee today was really fun. So glad that so many people managed to come. It was like a junior senior gathering! Way cool. I think our class is great. This would never have happened in at least a year! for my sec four class. Our class is so lame. And I like lame. Therefore I like our class (: I hope they all had a blast. Watching them play PS2 was just pure entertainment. I know it's bad to do this but everytime we have a big class moment (gathering, photos, etc) I keep thinking about how things will be one year from now. I know time is going to fly by faster than I know. The pain of not treasuring the present has eaten me up many times before, and I hope I will not let it do so again. But perhaps these things are inevitable. I am trying to remember and enjoy every single moment we spend as a class but I have a super short memory :( I need another hard disk!
Thanks to Evelyn for helping out with coordinating the guestlist and all! whee. My mom was so nice she helped me a lot. So did my bro and dad. For some reason I have started appreciating my family more. Kind of odd, but I really have a lot to thank them for. I cannot even begin to imagine life without any one of them. Naggy and irritating as they may be, they've sacrificed a lot for me. This sudden realisation is just very very... sudden. haha. Okay I don't know how to explain it.
OK back to my "activity". Darnit I do not understand chem. Chem makes me Cry. ANDY! NEED UR HELP :( I am sorry I won't ps again I promise! Heehee.